Three weeks ago I lost my brother. God has chosen to end his seasons here on this earth. In my mind at this time I am thinking family would be bonding and remembering their love one that has passed. The choice that our sister and our aunt made shattered my vision. I couldn't believe that they chose to make his death about themselves.  It didn't matter a mother was grieving the lost of her son, a son the lost of his father, a sister the lost of her brother, grandchildren the lost of their grandfather and friends the lost of a good friend. All respect for this time of mourning was violated by their choice it's about me but maybe this was their way of grieving.

 This life lesson got me questioning their love and respect for the living. In death they have shown their true colors, selfishness, disrespect, and a need for their ego to shine. The thing about this situation they are still family. The bloodline is still connected but the bond for me is broken. I have forgiven but it will be a challenge for them to be a part of my life, because of their choice. I am not saying I am right and they are wrong but the respect wasn't shown in this time of grievance. 

I am choosing peace and love to guide me, I pray that eyes will be open that there is a time and place for everything. 

When was the last time we really said Thank You to the Creator? We say Thank You to people all day but we don't Thank God enough. Think of all the blessings He has given to us so freely. I realized that I have been ungrateful in so many ways. I am guilty of only thanking Him for getting me out of crazy situations and small blessings.

The world has forgotten who has created everything. We have forgotten He has given us his children visions to create the material things that surrounds us. We have forgotten everything else He has created. Look around you there is so many things to be grateful for. The air we breath, the trees, the grass, the food, water, rain, clouds, plants, wind, sun, our health, even Earth that we live on.

The world and its EGO. If it wasn't for God there will be nothing. Man didn't begin Creation.  Man didn't form the Earth or even himself. I am going to begin today being more grateful. There is so much to thank God for. I will begin with thanking Him for creating me. Giving me my sight, the blood that runs through my veins, the ability to create with my hands and mind.  Thank You for the ability to create life. Thank You for this wonderful body my spirit resides.  Thank You for giving me beautiful flowers to bring me joy. Thank You for the birds, bees,  all beautiful creatures for me to adore.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! GOD I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL!

The world is really making me feel confused. I am feeling like I am obsolete. Am I wrong for being different? I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to really be free to be me but....who am I? The conversation with myself is an ongoing situation. I am thinking all these years and all this time I should know who I really am.

Being in a state of confusion got me into thinking and searching. The first place I begin to search was within. The mind is a beautiful machine with a lot of control. I couldn't believe how much me vs me in my mind contributes to my confusion.  It doesn't even starts there. It started before I was brought into this world. My mother. She carried me in her womb for 9 months. So what was she thinking and feeling?  Then followed by having to be taught everything.  Now I am being molded, shape by her and her family environment. My believes, character, fears, thinking process etc.... Then I begin to add who I think I am or suppose to be.

Years have passed now, I am still wondering who am I? This journey leads me to the Bible. There are chapters and chapters of wonderful things that said who I am and who I am suppose to be. Here's the thing I have to believe it. I have to create it.  Who I am now is what the world has created. I have to now reinvent myself to be who I truly believe I am. The steps all begin in the mind. Now I understand what it means to renew your mind.

Dig deep into yourself, take the journey and find who you really are. You will truly begin to fly. 

In life we have been so grounded and haven't learn to fly. I am not talking about being in a plane or thinking of having wings like a bird. I am talking about opening up our mind, our thought process. I remember being a child with a big imagination. I remember that nothing was impossible. I had big dreams and I played them out. What has happen to that imagination as I grew up?

I've been searching for that feeling. As a child I felt so free and the world was mine. My imagination gave me freedom, I felt as if I was truly flying. I didn't think of pain, hurt or wanting anything but to be free in my thoughts.  I had a new life everyday. All I had to do was to  think of it. Where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be my friends.

Being childlike in life and not childish is flying.  A child is always curious, wanting to learn, wanting to try almost everything and wanting answers to questions.  Boy does it feel good. I am learning to fly again.