LONELINESS

Loneliness, I never thought I would be in this position. My life has been simple and a bit predictable after I discovered peace with me. I opened up my life to a stranger, now I am feeling lonely. I say to myself how can this be? Now, this person is no longer in my life now I am feeling this. I got use to us talking for hours, for days. This experience is gone. 

The stranger brought pleasure, joy, chaos and drama to my life. In my search for joy and happiness I got caught up in this world of chaos. As I was drowning in the mess I discovered that I was the stranger to this world. I don't live a life in the world of pretend. I live in reality. The introduction to lies, deception, fakeness I must admit brought me a bit of pleasure. Then came the pain.  I taste the fruit of feeling special, thinking I found a friend, and feeling I am worthy of this person's time only to fall into deception. 

Who would thought a snake that is cold and cunning could be filled with so much charm. The words that were spoken melted in my heart. I begin a ride on an emotionally roller coaster. Now I am in the mist of the chaos so here comes the emotional games. Not that I am in love but I liked the feel good pleasures the words were giving me.  How can I feel that I know this stranger through our conversations but in reality I don't really know you. Now I can't be without you so it brings me to this loneliness that I feel.

God open my eyes to show me I got caught up in someone's else need for lust, pleasure and to think they are a God.  Even with me being in a state of loneliness a lesson has been learned. I will not take myself for granted again. I will love, appreciate, cherish the person who I am so no one else will have to tell or make me feel special when I already know I am.

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